Who To Invite To Your Bridal Shower (Guest List Etiquette 101)
This is everything you need to know about who to invite to your bridal shower.
One of the most exciting parts of the wedding process is the bridal shower. A bridal shower is a special occasion to celebrate the bride-to-be as the countdown continues to the big day.
One of the most common questions that come up during bridal shower planning is: who do you invite to a bridal shower?
I’ve hosted several bridal showers over the years and this is a question that comes up time and time again. And honestly, putting together the bridal shower guest list can be a little bit tricky.
Who To Invite To Your Bridal Shower
Whether you’re the bride, the maid of honor, or a close family member helping out, knowing exactly who gets invited to a bridal shower can save you from a lot of confusion and etiquette mishaps.
That’s why I wanted to put together this post to help simplify and clarify the process. Here, I walk you through everything you need to know about who should be invited to a bridal shower. I’ve included guest list etiquette, family dynamics (these aren’t always easy), and how to handle multiple bridal showers.
What Is a Bridal Shower, and Why Does the Guest List Matter?
If you’re new to planning a bridal shower, put simply a bridal shower is an event that happens before the wedding. It’s usually hosted by the maid of honor, the bridesmaids, or close family members and friends of the bride. The idea of a bridal shower is to “shower” the bride with love, gifts, and good wishes before her wedding. A bridal shower is different than planning a bachelorette party and the guest list differs as well.
Bridal showers, much like a wedding shower traditionally take place during the day. Since these showers are often more personal and include bridal shower games, gift opening, and toasts, a carefully curated guest list is a must.
General Bridal Shower Guest List Etiquette
Before we jump into the specifics, I want to share a few rules of thumb to follow when putting together a bridal shower guest list:
#1 – Any person that you invite to the bridal shower MUST also be invited to the wedding.
This is the most important rule. You should never invite someone to a bridal shower who is not also invited to the wedding itself. There are very few exceptions to this rule…for example…if it’s a workplace shower or something similar. If this is the case, ensure that there are clear expectations for those guests who are attending.
#2 – Consult With The Bride.
Even if you’re planning a surprise bridal shower, it’s a good idea to get a list from the bride or a close family member of hers that includes the people you “must invite”. You want to ensure you do not leave anyone important out.
#3 – How Many People To Invite To A Bridal Shower
Keep the group size manageable. Bridal showers typically include between 15-40 people. Much of this depends on the bride’s preferences, expectations, and size of the venue.
Who Gets Invited to a Bridal Shower?
Here’s the 411 on who usually makes the bridal shower invite list:
The Bride’s Immediate Family
- Mother of the bride
- Sisters
- Grandmothers
- Aunts and cousins (especially those who are close to the bride)
These women are often some of the most important and emotionally invested in the wedding celebration. They should be at the top of the bridal shower list.
The Groom’s Immediate Family
- Mother of the groom
- Sisters
- Grandmothers
Even though it’s the bride’s shower, it’s still important to invite the immediate family members from the groom’s side. This helps include them in the celebration and strengthen the relationship with the future in-laws.
The Wedding Party
- Maid of Honor
- Bridesmaids
- Flower girls (if age-appropriate)
The wedding party usually plays a big role in the bridal shower. Typically, they help plan the bridal shower and/or host. They’re most likely to be some of the bride’s closest friends and will know her best. This is very helpful in coming up with bridal shower themes and games the bride will enjoy.
Close Friends Of The Bride
Longtime best friends, college roommates, and those who have had meaningful relationships with the bride throughout her life. Again, just make sure they’re also on the wedding guest list…and it’s always a good idea to check with the bride.
Family Friends and Neighbors
This category is a bit more flexible and depends on the bride’s relationship with them and of course her preferences. If these individuals have played a big role in her life (for example…a childhood mentor, a close family friend, etc.), an invitation is appropriate.
Bride’s Coworkers (Optional)
Some brides will have a separate bridal shower at work. If there is room on the guest list, you can invite a few close coworkers to the main bridal shower. Just make sure you’re not inviting one or two coworkers from a larger group unless they’re truly close to the bride. Again – check with the bride!
Who NOT to Invite to the Bridal Shower
Now that you know who to invite to a bridal shower…I thought it would be equally as important to share who should not be invited to a bridal shower.
- Anyone not invited to the wedding (with rare exceptions like a workplace bridal shower)
- Extended acquaintances (unless instructed by the bride)
- Plus ones (unless they’re also close to the bride or part of the bridal party)
- Exes or anyone who could cause drama
Keep this in mind as you put together the guest list: the goal of a bridal shower is to have an uplifting, joyful experience for the bride. Don’t invite anyone who might bring tension, discomfort, drama, or dampen her spirits.
How to Handle Multiple Bridal Showers
Sometimes, the bride ends up with more than one shower…and that’s totally okay! I’ve had a few close friends who had multiple showers and it is totally doable.
Here are some examples:
- One bridal shower may be hosted by the bridesmaids
- Another by the bride’s mother or family
- A workplace bridal shower
If this is the case, it’s not necessary to invite every person to every shower, unless specified by the bride.
Tip: Create a master list to keep track of who has been invited to each shower and which one they plan to attend.
Bridal Shower Guest List FAQs
I thought it’d be helpful to share a few extra FAQs on who to invite to a bridal shower:
Can men be invited to a bridal shower?
Yes! While bridal showers have traditionally been all-female events, co-ed bridal or wedding showers are becoming more popular. If the bride and groom want a joint event, the guest list should include mutual friends, family from both sides, and members of both sides of the wedding party.
Should I invite children to the bridal shower?
That really depends on the vibe of the shower and the bride’s preferences. If it’s a casual, family-friendly shower, kids might be welcome. But for more formal or adult-themed events, it’s okay to make it adults-only…just be clear on the invitation of what is expected.
Do you invite out-of-town guests?
If someone is important to the bride, go ahead and invite them even if they live far away, especially if they are on the bride’s list. Just don’t expect them to attend. Sending them a sweet note or having them join the shower virtually is a thoughtful touch (if this is an option).
How many people should you invite to a bridal shower?
When you’re putting together the guest list…you want to ensure the size of the list is manageable for the budget and bridal shower location.
A guest list between 15 and 40 people is fairly standard. However, smaller showers of 10 guests and larger ones of 50+ can still work well. It all really depends on the circumstances.
How To Create A Bridal Shower Guest List
Our Maid of Honor Planner has everything you need to take you from start to finish in the wedding planning process. You’ll find a full bridal shower planner, a place for managing guest lists, budgets, and more.
Here are the steps for creating a bridal shower guest list:
Start With The Bride
Ask the bride-to-be for a list of her must-have guests, including family and close friends.
Talk With The Mother Of The Bride and The Maid Of Honor
Both the mother of the bride and the maid of honor will often know who “should” be invited to the bridal shower based on etiquette and/or expectations.
Check the Wedding Guest List
Ask the bride for a copy of the wedding list. Make sure that anyone you plan on inviting to the bridal shower is also invited to the wedding.
Consider the Bridal Shower Budget and Venue Size
You’ll want to tailor your final guest list for the bridal shower to fit the budget and venue size for the event.
Organize Guests By Category
Create categories for the guests. For example: Bride’s family, Groom’s family, co-workers, friends, etc.
Use A Spreadsheet Or Checklist
Create a spreadsheet or checklist to keep track of your guest list. You can track guests, RSVPs, and more. In our MOH Planner, we have a guest list section for bridal shower and bachelorette party planning to simplify this process.
Final Thoughts | Who To Invite To Your Bridal Shower
When it comes to who to invite to a bridal shower, it can be tricky. Whether you’re asking yourself who should be invited to a bridal shower you’re hosting or helping a bride determine who gets invited to a bridal shower…I hope that this post has helped you build a personal, thoughtful, and drama-free guest list.
Also, remember this little rule…a bridal shower is about surrounding and celebrating the bride with the people she loves most. So, when it comes to who to invite to your bridal shower…check with the bride to ensure the guest list is how she wants it to be.
